If you want to be closer to your grandchildren and be part of a family again we can help. The mainstream of grandparent’s separation from the family is lack of open communication. A little family education can be the saviour of a happy family. Honest talking and making boundaries is essential for families to get on.
Parents need to have full control of their own children and make decisions that grandparents might not approve of but it is not the grandparent’s children and if they think back to when they were younger and bringing up their own children would they have tolerated anyone butting in. New methods, modern ways are being taught at baby classes and toddlers groups that grandparents may not be aware of. That is when the problems creep in.
The parent does not respond to the grandparent’s willingness to help and the grandparent feels put out, "after all I’ve got the t-shirt seen the movie" and they are often miffed when their advice or suggestions are not accepted. Sensing the tension the parents then have a tendency to not visit or have the grandparents over as often as they did. The grandparents then nip the ear of the parent who is their son or daughter about not seeing their grandchildren. Having their own family the parent in the middle then stay away more often and the other parents is often accused of not liking the grandparents or controlling their son or daughter and the situation deteriorates further into total separation. The grandparents feel they have a right to their grandchildren and the opposing parent is opposing them. At this stage it is not too late as long as there has been no verbal or physical violence. Mediation at this point can save this family’s decent into hell. It must be stressed the power of mediation can work miracles and harmony can be restored if the adults are determined and the children are thought of as the priority.
We need more members to continue the campaign for the Charter for Grandchildren to be made legal and the government to change its attitude towards grandparents. The message the government is putting out is very mixed they say grandparents are important in a child’s life but refuse to grant them the recognition of importance that they state..
The government actually fund groups whose aims are to keep the fathers and grandparents apart even when they have no valid reason to. Another group actually holds meetings for fathers but have never achieved any restoration of families in 30 odd years.
Does the government really want harmony in families? They do not consider grandparents or families important enough in their priority list as the government is full of lawyers and only they make money of family problems so why should they want changes. We need to force this change on them.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
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