Grandparents contribute more than just financial support, Catholic group says

Friday, 02 December 2011 10:08

Grandparents are "worth their weight in gold", according to the founder of the Catholic Grandparents Association after the publication of a report which showed grandparents are worth £3,500 to their families each year.


The 21st Century Grandparenting report said grandparents were now contributing at least 10 hours free childcare – a rise of over an hour in the last year. According to the report commissioned by the over-50s insurance group RIAS, nearly half of all grandparents are providing such care, equating to approximately £1,830 a year.

And the same amount are prepared to make regular financial payouts to help improve standards of living. Clothes, days out and gifts are frequently paid for by grandparents and they contribute towards computers and driving lessons.

However the founder of the CGA, Catherine Wiley, told The Universe that quantifying the savings grandparents can make for families missed the point.

"Grandparents help families in every way but most importantly with spiritual and emotional support. They are very unvalued, particularly when it comes to passing on the faith and moral values. The value of their life experience and lived wisdom is incalculable," said Mrs Wiley.

"The aspirations they held as parents have been superseded by more fundamental hopes. As parents we want the best education and the best jobs for our children but when we become grandparents we just want our grandchildren to be decent people because we have realised the true essence of life.

"Often we are better with our grandchildren than we were with our children. Grandparents have a difficult and challenging role in the family and it is essential not to undermine the parents.

"We are the stabilisers of the family, our love is unconditional and there is no sacrifice we will not make. We love our children but we adore our grandchildren," she said.

Founded in Ireland, the CGA is fast-becoming a major force in the support of family life. Last month the association addressed the European Marian Shrine Directors' Conference at which every shrine director agreed to organise a grandparents' pilgrimage and to display the Pope's prayer for grandparents.

Mrs Wiley has been invited by the Pontifical Council for the Family to address the World Family Meeting in Milan next year to give the witness and testimony of the vocation of grandparents.

And plans are already advancing for the Pope to lead a CGA pilgrimage in Rome in 2013, at which the solidarity of Catholic grandparents across the world will be celebrated.

Excelent letter from Grandparents Apart Wales

Vivian A. Cornelius, LL30 1BH

Vulnerable Children Team, Department of Health,

Social Services and Children.

3^rd December 2011

Dear Vivian

                      Charter for Grandchildren

Please accept my thanks in the first instance for the courtesy shown to me by your response to my email requesting support from Gwenda Thomas AM Deputy Minister for Children and Social Services for the Aberconwy Assembly Member Janet Finch-Saunders AM who led the short debate in the Senedd on the 23^rd November 2011 for “A Charter for Grandchildren.”

Janet Finch-Saunders AM and Mark Isherwood AM have been working with Grandparents Apart Wales for many years and they know by the amount of case work they receive the true reality and concerns of families who for no logical reason are denied access to their grand/children and the psychological and emotion damage such decisions have on the minds of the children involved.

I was fortunate as were many others to watch the debate and I did so with great interest and following the debate the charity has received more enquiries from the public for help and support.

Now that the charter has been mentioned in the Senedd we feel that we can move on from there with greater authority, and vigour to help those grand/parents denied access to their grand/children here in Wales.

You letter to me was extremely encouraging in so much, that for the first time we are in receipt of a communication on behalf of a Government Minister recognising and advocating the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child when usually it is our charity and others that campaign for its recognition and promotion.

We are happy to say that it follows that we have more in common concerning the protection and the rights of grand/children than differences.

Returning to the confusion aspect in the terminology that the minister uses frequently regarding the charter,

we reiterate the fact that Grandparents Apart UK were campaigning for a Charter for Grandchildren many years before the governments in the UK recognised the UNCRC and we in our campaigns used the UNCRC to support the rights of children, to be protected by such a charter which as you know was adopted in Scotland in 2006.

I cite the letter written by the Deputy Minister to Val Lloyd AM, Chair of the Petitions Committee dated 18^th November 2009 in response to our petition for A Charter for Grandchildren which makes no reference to the UNCRC at all yet it is now the corner stone of the Deputy Minister’s response.


There is such a lot of legal argument resulting in many court appearances regarding children’s issues which has naturally consequences to the minds of children where a Charter for Grandchildren is simple and concise.

On Thursday the 1^st December 2011 there was a protest march in Edinburgh by members and sympathisers from Grandparents Apart UK, Fathers Need Families, and Fathers for Justice to highlight the fact that the Scottish Charter for Grandchildren is being totally ignored by the people employed in Children’s Agencies to the detriment of families and children in particular.

It is our experience from the many enquiries that we receive that Children’s Agencies here in Wales work to their own agenda paying no heed at all to the UNCRC or any other measures that the Welsh Government have in place to protect the wellbeing of children, when they are involved in the conflict of their parents whom they love equally.

No matter what the criteria or principles the Welsh Government adopt or recognise regarding the rights of the child here in Wales it is the enforcing of the government’s statutory entitlements and commitments to families and grand/children that is essential and absolutely necessary, but sadly this is not happening.

If these entitlements and commitments were enforced there would evolve a change in parent’s perception which would recognise the need for agreements to be made considering the situation of their children, and it is our contention that any arrangements made regarding children’s wellbeing should be made prior to the parent’s separating and not post when parent’s lives are in turmoil with so many other issues needing attention.

Our thanks Vivian to you and the minister who was benevolent as she was gracious in staying in the Senedd to parcipate and answer Janet Finch-Saunders AM’s call for a Charter for Grandchildren when all other Assembly Members with the exception of the Conservative had left the chamber for whatever reason.

Grandparents Apart Wales recognise the minister’s politeness and good manners and hope that we may write to her again.

Our best wishes



Frank Bradfield,

Grandparents Apart Wales

Very peaceful Demo. Yesterday 1st December 20011

What a day. I must consider this demo to be the most informative demo we have ever had. Tourists were agog and locals lapped us up. Media attention was magic.

 New Fathers for Justice, Family Needs Fathers, Grandparents Apart UK. We had a ball. Lots of Santa’s gathered at the Scottish Parliament with only one thing on their mind is their children who they sadly are refused contact with for no real reason.  All because of the unjust one sided family laws of this land.  We ran out of leaflets as people were asking for them all the way.

 The demo was very peaceful and we can’t thank the Parly Polis enough who went out of their way to make sure we got a strict but fair march.

 We walked up the royal mile and stopped against the wall opposite the City Chambers so as to not interfere with the soldiers who were marching past.

 One old guy looking the worst for wear dressed in a shabby black coat hair down his back came up to us and said he was from the council and would we move on as he didn’t think it was appropriate for us to be there. Some of our members are soldiers and we couldn’t be more proud of them like they were our own sons. We kept a low profile and applauded them all the way.

 Onwards to the courts for a show then down Princes Street making friends all the way. Margaret and I left them as we could not stand the bitter cold any longer.

Thursday 1^st December 20011 10.am-3pm @ The Scottish Parliament Edinburgh marching up the Royal Mile. All welcome for a peaceful demo.

1.          Shared Parenting to be the norm in the UK.

2.          The Charter for Grandchildren to be made legal.

3.           Stop Woman’s aid alienating innocent dad’s and  Grandparents.

Demo this Thursday. RFFJ, FnF Grandparents Apart UK

Salmond to face protest at Hearts football match

A Fathers 4 Justice protest at Holyrood in 2004

Published on Monday 28 November 2011 12:13

MEMBERS of a fathers’ rights group are planning to confront Alex Salmond during a football match at Tynecastle and climb on the roofs of some the Capital’s “prominent buildings” as part of their latest protest.

Campaign group New Fathers 4 Justice, which champions rights for fathers and grandparents in the face of a family breakdown, is set to stage its first major event in Scotland for several years this Thursday, which will include scaling some of the city’s landmarks if they are “prevented from doing other [more peaceful] things”.
A spokesman for the group also revealed that “between now and the New Year” some members intended to track down Alex Salmond and “cause chaos” during one of his visits to watch Hearts after they received information about his route to the stadium.
Their first demonstration, from 9am on December 1, includes a march to the Scottish Parliament and up the Royal Mile wearing superhero and Santa costumes.
Spokesman Richard Adams stressed their wish to conduct a “peaceful protest”, but he pointed out that they were willing to climb roofs if they are prevented from carrying out their initial plans.
He said: “That’ll be the back-up situation if we are prevented from doing other things, if it is our only option. We’d prefer to keep this peaceful, although you could quite easily see one or two dads on a building. This is our first major protest in Scotland since 2005 and we have people travelling from all over the country. It is to support fathers and grandparents who don’t see their child or grandchild. Christmas is such a tough time.
“We’ll walk towards the Parliament as we know Alex Salmond will be inside for question time. We are calling on him to support fathers, to support a presumption of contact if the child is not at risk.”
Protesters are assembling at the car park at Abbey Lane, Abbeyhill, from 9am. They will then march down to Holyrood and demonstrate outside the Parliament before moving up the Royal Mile. Mr Adams added that a small number of members would meet elsewhere in case police decided to use “strong-arm tactics”.
He pointed out that the Hearts ambush would take place at a later date. He said: “That protest is slightly separate. Somebody well connected to the club who supports our cause has told us when he [Salmond] is there and we have been provided with a map of how he gets to the stadium.
“We are not targeting Hearts, we are targeting Alex Salmond. We want him to say he supports more rights for fathers and grandparents when a family breakdown happens. It’s all about equality and asking why a father doesn’t have that equality.”
Jimmy Deuchars, a campaigner for grandparents’ rights, added: “At Christmas time we get such sad stories building up from grandparents who are not allowed to see their grandchildren. Some grandparents have a room full of presents which they save in the hope that they’ll see them someday.”

Grandparents Apart Wales.

        A Grandmother’s Anguish 25th November 2011                                  
On Wednesday the 23rd November 2011 the Deputy Minister for Social Services said in plenary that Wales leads the UK in listening to children by incorporating the 42 Articles in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child into domestic law.

However we have since heard this story from a Welsh grandmother which tragically questions the Deputy Minister’s statement and her implication that the Welsh Government recognises and is fully committed to the articles in the UNCRC.

This is a story of Pauline (Fictitious Name) who sadly lost her son last year so the children involved had the colossal trauma of having to deal with that as did Pauline. Then the children lost their maternal grandfather which caused them more immeasurable distress and possible psychological damage, and at a time when the whole family should have been together sharing this grief and supporting each other Pauline was desperately trying to get contact with her grandchildren.

Pauline sent presents and cheques as most loving grandparents do at birthdays, Xmas etc. but those were disregarded.

Pauline met with the maternal grandmother to try and build bridges with the children’s mother and when this proved unsuccessful, Pauline took the only path left open to her which was to approach a Solicitor in Family Law for advice.
Mediation was arranged but the children’s mother didn’t bother to turn up at the session and when no progress was made, the case went to court where to Pauline’s astonishment the character assignation of her began.

Pauline was accused of interfering and that the children aged 6 and 8 years of age would not be safe in her company. She was even accused of having once tried to kidnap the children.
There was not a scrap of evidence produced in court to support any of these allegations made by the mother’s solicitor and the case was adjourned.

Later Pauline returned to the same court and CAFCASS I am pleased to say had written to the court that they could find no reason why the children could not stay over at Pauline’s. They also wrote that the mother had to be in control.
Pauline’s barrister stated that there was no logical reason why Pauline should not see her grandchildren but the court never made a decision and again it was adjourned.

Pauline was never offered a supervised visit with her grandchildren or she would have accepted it unconditionally which should have proved her sincerity in her application to see her grandchildren.

So Pauline has followed the proper procedures in Wales where ministers and the authorities are supposedly implementing the UNCRC and where the Deputy Minister has said that children in Wales are listened to and that their interests are paramount.

So what did the children have to say in this case you may ask, and who listened to them, or what are the children being told about the court case and especially, why, it is necessary for their loving grandmother to go to court and take action against their mother?
Just what information are these children getting and from whom? 

It is only when one reads such things that one realises the futility of it all and the damage that is being done unconsciously to the children involved and society as a whole.

We in Grandparents Apart Wales implore the Welsh Government to be transparent in their respect for the wishes of children so that, they are heard and protected and that they have the knowledge of their family’s history, culture and religion which in the above case is being totally ignored because it is the children’s Welsh heritage link on the paternal side that the mother by her determined action is denying the children.

The Deputy Minister said that “A Charter for Grandchildren” would only confuse matters connected with children, but we are crystal clear what rights of a child should be protected and the first is the child’s right of access to both parents and the wider family which by its very makeup gives the child that love, affection, and stability so needed for the child’s welfare and wellbeing which benefits their future and that of society.

All governments in the United Kingdom acknowledge the importance of grandparent’s to the family so why is there not more commonsense to protect grandparents furthermore why does the courts not recognise how essential it is that children have access to their grand/parents or at least declare good reason why not.

We thank Pauline for allowing us to tell her story.

Frank
Grandparents Apart Wales

http://t.co/1qnWEiv2

Petition to Scrap the FAMILY JUSTICE REVIEW FINAL REPORT (EDM 2382)

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/22695

Demo on 1st December 2011. Christmas theme.

                                        Demo of all Demos.

Thursday 1^st December 20011 10.am-3pm @ The Scottish Parliament Edinburgh marching up the Royal Mile.

A Christmas Theme for the love of our children. Dress code Santa’s outfit pressies and carols will be sung.  (ahem)

We call on the Scottish Government to listen to the people who suffer rather than the people who profit from the unfair Justice System of our country.

1.       Shared Parenting to be the norm in the UK.

2.       The Charter for Grandchildren to be made legal.

Shared Parenting as defined in the following.

 By FNF Scotland on Wednesday, November
23, 2011 at 2:16PM

The Swiss government has decided that separated parents should automatically have joint custody of their children except in cases involving the specific protection of the child.
When a couple splits or gets divorced, custody of their children will be shared without the need for a prior agreement or the approval of a judge.

Justice Minister Simonetta Sommaruga said that the Federal Council considered the move obvious, since a child has the right to build an autonomous relationship with both father and mother.

All political parties, as well as family and children's associations, welcomed Sommaruga’s proposal, which is widely expected to pass into law when voted on in parliament in the coming weeks.

But while joint custody is set to become the norm, a judge will still have to sign off on the suitability of both parents to take responsibility for their children. A parent may be denied custody for reasons including infirmity, a history of violence or absence.

At present in Switzerland, when a couple divorces, one parent generally gets sole custody. If the couple is not married, the mother is the legal custodian. For now, joint custody is only possible if both parties sign an agreement on how they plan to distribute and share alimony and childcare.

The draft proposal also regulates the question of residence. If a parent wishes to move, either alone or with the child, he or she will need the consent of the other party. If there is no agreement, a judge will have to intervene to protect the well-being of the child.

Making The Charter for Grandchildren Legal:- 

 The Charter for Grandchildren was created by a Scottish Government in response to the evidence for the need of it by Grandparent’s Apart UK. However it was only made advisory to accompany the new 206 Family Law 2006 Act.

 It has proven that professionals working in the welfare of children are not entering into the spirit of the Charter as the government had hoped and now requires for the Charter to be made mandatory for the benefit of our children.  The Charter for Grandchildren does not give grandparents any power over parents or any authority looking after children but does ensure that the role grandparents can play in a child’s lives is utilised to the full or an explanation to the contrary. At present grandparents are mostly ignored as irrelevant persons when they express concern over the way children are being treated by the said professionals.  (Totally blind obedience or out)

It is well recognised that grandparents are the biggest carers of children in the world and a child has a far greater chance of growing up with love and stability than a child that has been through the care system. It is well known again that a child that goes through the care system is being deprived of the family stability element and joins gangs to fulfil that need.    The often become unmanageable, bitter, resentful and a greater chance of being a non-achiever with no respect for anyone.